I want my degradation from the top shelf

black label

complete abandon headlong into night

like the sun won’t ever rise

I want a stranger’s hands against my chest

pulling at my shirt collar

lips taking my pulse

words slurring as our bodies take the reins

I want the scent to linger

perfume and opium

long after she’s left me

lying there

watching morning light filter through smoke

breathing her in all over again and again

ecstasy on the skin where her fingers dug in

and lipstick…everywhere

I want my body to remember 

by instinct alone

what she did to me

mind blank

veins empty

drained by her

and more to come

if I can find her 

in the night ahead

—

Photo by Yara on Unsplash